The Independent from London, Greater London, England • 118

1209.10 Flip chart On my mind Nothing says louder than those online serf-portraits, says Rhiannon Harries You always knew, as soon as shabby Lieutenant Columbo held up that arm, he had his mam So, to celebrate actor Peter mile's birthday this week, we ask: which detective would you have most chance escaping from? And how best to do it? You pan spot them a mile off: the odd camera angle, a glimpse of awkwardly positioned arm. Mainly; it's the exaggerated tilt of the chin and the massive pout No doubt the amateur photographic self-portrait predates the social-networking revolution, but in the era of facebook, MySpace, dating websites and Twitter, these uber-posed images are everywhere. In last week's furore around her alleged liaisons with footballer Wayne Rooney, reporters dug out some classic examples from Jennifer Thompson's Facebook albums. Since other pictures reveal Thompson to be the kind Of gal who considers bra and knickers formal evening wear, you can hardly be surprised that at no point when creating such pictures did she stop to think, Hmm, maybe this actually makes me look bit of a knob." The try-hard self-portrait is not limited to wannabe Playboy bunnies, though. IVe been taken aback several times by female acquaintances I'd thought were, you know, cool, popping up on screen apparently channelling Kate Moss.

Ditto the odd male friend doing Ben Stiller in Zoolander. It seems perverse if you are posing so outrageously that it's too shameful to ask another person to take the picture, why then -V I one 11 COLUMBO I Q3SfflP 1 III HArmintheair 1 lL-LI I 5ttB I Look Dirty mac 1 jSSK. I T'' ji.f,!;: liffiTft I s. OH 1 How to get away with it I 19 vSy MpW i jjaiggiiiiili 1 mSSSlSB Tjf 1 lu share it with the world? Of course, choosinga representative picture is tricky. It doesnt take an unhealthy level of vanity to prefer not to look an utter dog so it is tempting to go for a flukey, uttra-flattering snap.

But it opens up the possibility that people will a) not recognise you, creating an embarrassing "god is that moment, andforb) interpret your careful selection as a sign of pathetic vanity. Better to look like a dog, no? I will admit that I have a default photo face (no-teeth smile, bite cheeks in a bit, try not to be caught shovelling food into gob). I plead that it's an attempt to look respectably average, not pro-model-pretty, and it doesn't always work, For some, though, perhaps it is indeed a question of wanting to stack up to the beautiful people. So why, if the red-carpet piCs in the glossies are anything to goby, do so many Mgh-ctafckb celebs feel the need to pull the same moves? Amongthe worst offenders are Liz Hurley, Sophie Dahl and Thandie Newton, none of whom need the help. Demi Moore's recent self-taken Twitter snaps of herself in a bikini (inset) were cringily unnecessary -she is known for little else thanlooking mifeasibly good these days; no need to tjverdo it.

Still, I should be grateful seeing a picture of Moore poncing it up probably does more for my self-esteem than one of Helena Christensen make-up free, mid-forkful and looking sublime. THE INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY 1 12 SEPTEMBER 2010 7.