IGN Retro is taking a peek at those games which are still canon, but not necessarily the brightest stars in the Mario universe. Last week, the discovery that Mario is Missing! kept up our vetting of Mario's history. Now, we check into Hotel Mario, a chapter in the plumber saga that almost everybody would like to close the door on.
Depending on your point of view, there is an almost karmic justice to the mere existence of Hotel Mario. The story of how Nintendo's top two mascots -- Mario and Link -- appeared on the Philips CD-i is a tangent spiraling off from one of the most thunderous backstage deals (and deal-breakings) in the videogame industry.
In the late eighties, the CD was on the rise. The format that would one day retire vinyl and cassettes was also making a splash in computers. The increased storage space and access speed was attractive to PC users. Videogame makers soon followed, seeing the CD's extra storage as real estate for movie files and soundtracks straight out of Hollywood movies. Oh, and bigger games.
By the early nineties, the CD drive was on its way to phasing out floppies. Single-speed CD drives were spinning hits like Myst and Wing Commander. SEGA released an add-on attachment for its popular Genesis console, the SEGA-CD to modest fanfare, thanks in no small part to lackluster titles that include the now-infamous Night Trap.
Nintendo saw the changing weather and wanted in, but instead of developing the CD project internally, it sought outside assistance. Nintendo turned to Sony in large part because of an existing relationship -- the sound chip inside the SNES is actually designed by Sony. In 1988, an agreement was struck between Nintendo and Sony for two projects: A CD add-on for the planned SNES and a Sony device that would play both SNES cartridges and CD-based games. That machine was to be called the Play Station and it soon became the lead project for Sony's budding internal games division.
SNES CD add-on At the same time, though, Nintendo was working with another partner: Philips. Philips was Europe's largest electronics manufacturer and an early pioneer in CD technology. Nintendo's Howard Lincoln and Minoru Arakawa initiated a deal with Philips to produce a CD add-on for the SNES. Sony was unaware of this deal and continued moving on the Play Station project.
The situation came to a head at the summer CES in 1991. Sony announced its plans with Nintendo. The next day, Nintendo cut Sony off at the knees. On the eve of the announcement, Nintendo decided that its deal with Sony ceded too much control (read: money) to Sony, as Sony was to be the lone licensor and manufacturer of the CD games. That was Nintendo territory. So Lincoln instead revealed Nintendo's plans with Philips to create the CD add-on. As you might expect, Sony was furious, seeing this as a complete betrayal.
Of course, there eventually was no CD add-on for the SNES. Nintendo didn't even use discs for its follow-up console, the Nintendo 64. Sony pledged support for the SEGA CD and created games for their add-on, which went on sale in 1992. There was potential for a device shepherded by Sony, Nintendo, and Philips -- but Nintendo's interest in the joint project waned. By late 1993, Nintendo announced it was completely abandoning the CD add-on for the SNES. Sony, still smarting, continued with the Play Station project on its own, ditching the cartridge slot and the little space between the two words in the project name. The PlayStation would be Sony's push at getting a piece of the lucrative videogame industry in the next lifecycle following the sunset period of the 16-bit generation.
So, what does all of this have to do with Hotel Mario? Philips already had its own standalone console in development in the late eighties, the CD-i. When Nintendo partnered with Philips for the SNES CD add-on, part of the deal was to allow Philips to have a few Nintendo mascot games on the CD-i. These games would be developed by Philips, not Nintendo. The results were a trio of Zelda games and Hotel Mario.
The CD-i Zelda games are, well, abominable. They are Zelda games in name only, featuring terrible art and gameplay that are almost wholly at odds with the existing Zelda games on the NES, Game Boy, and SNES. Hotel Mario, developed by Philips's Fantasy Factory studio, is actually a bit better than the CD-I Zelda games -- but that's like saying being punched in the stomach is a little bit better than being punched in the face.
Hotel Mario is a door-closing game. That's the chief mechanic. Bowser has turned the Mushroom Kingdom into a seven-hotel resort loaded with Goombas and other recognizable Mario universe nasties. Bowser is even holding Princess Peach hostage at the seventh hotel, giving you a modicum of inspiration to explore a world where the only way to win is to close doors. Really, it's that dull.
Each hotel is comprised of 10 stages. Each stage has five floors that are accessed via elevators. You must move up and down the floors, slamming shut the various doors while dealing with enemies. Mario can jump on most enemies. Those he cannot hit must be avoided by moving to another floor or stepping into an open door. There are mushrooms that turn Mario into Super Mario, but this just lets him take multiple hits. Fire Flowers transform Mario into Fire Mario so he can hurl fireballs at enemies. The Star Man also makes an appearance, turning Mario invincible.
At least Philips got this stuff right -- the enemies, the mushrooms, the Star Man. It knew how to make the game at least "look" like a Mario adventure. But is it ever boring. The game throws little complications at you, such as flickering lights, but nothing combats the simple fact that shutting doors is not a strong enough hook for an entire game.
Each stage ends with a boss battle against a Koopaling, such as Roy and Wendy. The game eventually concludes with Mario versus Bowser. Mario must still close more doors, but Bowser spits fireballs and calls down lightning to make matters difficult. Mario can jump on Bowser's head from the floor above him to temporarily incapacitate him.
Dull as it is, Hotel Mario as described is still fairly innocuous. However, the game harbors a series of unfortunate guests that really stink up the joint -- the cutscenes. Hotel Mario's animated cinematics between stages are so abysmal, they bring the game down to the sewers. The brothers look not entirely unlike the Mario Bros. cartoon, but the animation is even worse. It's like looking at a bad flip-book of images printed out of Microsoft Paint. From 1987. The drawings are often wiggly and wobbly, with misshapen heads and bodies. Seriously, it looks like these were created in a single weekend. The weekend before the game shipped.
But it's the voice work that's such a killer. Mario and Luigi are currently voiced by Charles Martinet, who gives Nintendo's dynamic duo very playful personalities. Mario in Hotel Mario sounds like somebody who is might complain about "not getting' da rent" in a bad seventies gumshoe flick. His voice is low and gravelly, not remotely appropriate for the character. You expect him to growl "ya mugs" at the end of each sentence. Peach doesn't fare much better.
Terrible cutscenes, boring gameplay -- there's really no reason for you to play Hotel Mario. It's chances of ever appearing again on something like the Virtual Console are very slim, especially since those cutscenes undercut so much work Nintendo has done to cultivate (and protect) its star icon, Mario. And so it is fitting to close the door on IGN Retro's The Other Mario Games series with this, the worst of the Mario games and likely one Nintendo might finally laugh about in private, Hotel Mario.