A video clip has been released into the ether that has left many confused and some embarrassed. Or both if, like me, you stumbled on it at work and Eunice from four desks down caught a glimpse of what you were watching on screen and mentally uninvited you to the charity cupcake fundraiser on Thursday morning.
Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda video is not for the faint-hearted.
There’s not much to it on paper. It’s basically a remake of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s relatively harmless early 90s ditty, Baby Got Back, a musical romp celebrating women who carry what Mix-a-lot referred to as “healthy butts”. Back then, the track was mildly controversial. These days, it’s practically geriatric, most often to be found on So Fresh 90s CD compilations gathering dust under the front passenger seat next to some petrified Twisties and Happy Meal figurines.
Until Nicki reimagined the song, it was arsenal for DJs who needed to cater for the over-35s begrudgingly attending a relative’s 21st. It’s a guaranteed floor filler with the handbag dance set. Nicki’s brought it to a new generation by adding her questionable charm and debatable rapping, imploring all the ladies with the big bums to get their said big bums out in the club. Or words to that effect.
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Visually, it’s about the rear with the video a confirmation that backside wobbling as a lifestyle choice has gone to the next level. Twerking looked as though it was on its last breath when Miley Cyrus adopted it. On this evidence, it’s now usurping regular activities, like moving, for example.
Aside from some efforts of the backing dancers, the video demands that figures remain stationary while bits of their butt move in isolation. The whole thing looks like a plate of Nan’s jellied meats in aspic, the outer reaches wobbling about gleefully while the insides remain solid. And who on earth invited Drake to turn up in cargo shorts for a lap dance on a chair that looks as though it was dragged in from the communal lunch area at work? His demeanour is one of somebody who has spent the worst Sunday of his life shopping at Ikea.
Further proof of twerk takeover has emerged since the video’s release. When the American rapper Wiz Khalifa’s album went No 1 in the US, his wife, Amber Rose, responded by releasing a short video of herself with back to the camera, her rear bubbling away like a simmering pot of pasta sauce. Whatever happened to opening a bottle of champagne in the privacy of your own home?
Clearly, I’m out of the loop. But if popping glute muscles not corks is de rigueur right now, I suggest we all get on board. If you win employee of the week at work, feel free to turn around and give a good old wobble at the next team meeting. You’ve just received a hefty tax rebate? Show your appreciation with a gentle wiggle at the post office when you open your mail. You’ll feel better for it, I promise. Even if you leave everyone else feeling confused and embarrassed.
