Boston's Koji Uehara Thinks Red Sox Burly Man Beards Are 'Gross'

Oh, Koji—will you ever not be the sunshine that heralds the day?

The Japanese closer is many things, but a fan of the thick facial hair Boston players grow out in the fall he is not—or at least he said as much in a recent interview.

After winning the World Series, the Red Sox released a DVD chronicling their trip to the championship. In the closing credits of the documentary, Boston players were asked to rate and rank the best playoff beards on the team.

While most of the team couldn’t stop gabbing about their lustrous facial hair, the clean-shaven Koji Uehara wasn't a big fan.

When asked who he believed had the best beard on the team, the 38-year-old closer dropped a wonderful quote, which was spotted by Mike Cardillo of The Big Lead (h/t Pete Blackburn of Next Impulse Sports).

“I think it’s just nasty to grow a beard that long,” Uehara admitted.

Screenshot via MLB.com

Cue the sound of a record skipping.

Yep, while the rest of the team reveled in the hirsute glory growing from their chins, Uehara wasn’t exactly greening with envy. Rather, he was greening with nausea. 

On another note, if you are a fan of Boston’s playoff beards (a really big fan of the beards) you can always make a bid to own some of it.

That’s right—pieces of beards trimmed off of David Ortiz and Shane Victorino are currently up for auction. The auction is being held by Gillette, and all proceeds will go to benefit Movember—a men’s health charity. 

Something tells me that Uehara won’t end up the high bidder on those beard trimmings. Mike Napoli, on the other hand—well, he might buy them just to keep his beard fed.

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