Monday, December 5, 2005 Show

First hour.
Monotonylog. DL announces that the Dr. Laura Holiday Jewelry Boutique is
open. DL buys the materials to make necklaces. 100% of the proceeds, not
merely 100% of the profits, from the sale of the jewelry goes to Operation
Family Fund, to help the families of dead and severely disabled servicemen
and women. [Also, 100% of the proceeds, not merely 100% of DL's
expenditures for the materials, is deductible from DL's income as
charitable contributions.] A wife and mother of five children from Maryland
had to turn off DL's program, because of the excerpts DL was reading from
the article about an abortionist. She heard DL mention "instant
gratification." The women who abort for frivolous reasons do not understand
the source of "instant gratification."

Sarah. How can she change this self-hatred and fear of failure? She's so
obsessed with perfection that she doesn't try. DL says it's normal to fail.
Sarah says if she fails, everyone will hate her. DL asks why Sarah takes
things to dramatic extremes. Sarah says her sister has never failed at
anything. That's Sarah being dramatic again. DL tells us that Sarah is 22.
DL advises Sarah to stop being a drama queen. DL says that being perfect
doesn't make you lovable. DL implies Sarah's parents are to blame.

Caroline. She's been divorced for nine years. Her younger child is a son,
16. Her ex-husband remarried immediately and child support has been rare.
He has nothing to do with their son. Caroline wants to call her ex-husband.
DL sneers at Caroline: she can call if she likes, and he will say, no. DL
says some people stayed with her son. Caroline hoped the holidays would
bring a miracle.

Amanda. Should she be a bridesmaid in her sister's wedding, when she's
marrying an emotionally abusive man? Her sister has changed. He was
screaming at her in a mall; he said he was having a bad day, and she
apologized to him. DL says, no, you don't stand up when you know it's a
sick bonding. After the break, DL explains the solemn significance of the
wedding party. In effect, DL answers one of Amanda's concerns: Amanda won't
remain in her sister's life if her sister marries. To me, that's a small
price to pay when you're trying to save somebody's life.

Paige. Her husband lost his brother a week ago, and is comforting his
brother's wife. Her husband has pushed her away. DL says, that's an issue
of her marriage. Paige has had issues with her sister-in-law, who acted
inappropriately; she flirted with Paige's husband. Paige doesn't want to be
jealous; she wants to do the right thing. DL says if the sister-in-law made
plays for her husband, it's not unreasonable. Paige says that when they
were dating, the man she married said he wished he had met his brother's
girlfriend before his brother did. DL says, they have the hots for each
other.

Wendy. She's 38, with a 20-yo daughter. Wendy's mother wasn't very nice to
her. Wendy's mother never hugged her, either. Wendy kept her mother out of
her life, and felt much better. Now Wendy's mother wants to bond with her;
it feels to Wendy like she's a stranger. DL asks, if Wendy's daughter calls
her [DL] up and asks what to do when her mother, who screwed up, wants to
make amends, what does Wendy want her [DL] to say? Wendy says she's
miserable being around her mother, and it's not the same with her daughter.
Wendy says she and her daughter are bonded. DL throws "the divorce" in
Wendy's face. Wendy says everything's fine between her daughter and
herself; DL says, as far as you know. DL tells Wendy that she can choose
not to benefit from her mother's growth. After the break, DL says most
people who had a bad childhood don't get a second chance with their
parents. DL says, sometimes the need to punish is greater than the desire
for peace.

Tammy. She's schizophrenic. She's going back to nursing school. How does
she combat the difficulty of organization? She lives with her father; her
3-yo son lives with his father. DL asks if the nursing school knows her
history; Tammy says her doctor is writing a letter. Tammy says she has ADD.
DL asks if Tammy is sure that nursing is the best career for her. Tammy
says she used to be a nursing attendant. Tammy was thinking of working in
an office job. DL says Tammy should think of a job where organization of
paperwork is not an issue.

Diane. At what age do parents need to be before children can step in and
protect them from another child? DL says there's no age requirement. Her
in-laws are only 62. DL says she can report a criminal act to the police.

Ann. Her husband and she are Christians who try to do the right thing. What
does it mean to honor one's parents? DL says it doesn't involve supporting
immoral or illegal behavior. DL says disagreeable or annoying behavior is
not the same. Ann had a disagreement with her father when he told one of
her daughters, whom Ann recently adopted as an adult, that children need to
earn the right to use the term "grandfather." DL tells Ann to tell her
children that her father is a little flaky. That's it.

Second hour.
Monotonylog. DL informs "you civilians" that "Hooah" is sort of a thing
that Army guys say. [When did DL become an Army guy?] It has a historical
meaning. [Don't ask her what the historical meaning is, though.] It's "an
Army thing." [We wouldn't understand.] DL gives away copies of "The Autism
Sourcebook: Everything You Need To Know About Diagnosis, Treatment, Coping
and Healing," by Karen Siff Exkorn.

Louise. She's whispering, which means that DL will harass her, and she
does. Louise says she's a low talker. DL asks why Louise doesn't speak her
mind. Louise says she feels flustered; DL doesn't think that's it; Louise
sighs, and finally says DL is right. She's been in a relationship on and
off for seven months. When he seems to get close to her, she doesn't hear
from him for a while; they break off because he's seeing something else. DL
asks whether movie romances are like this. Louise says she doesn't allow
herself to heal from relationships. Louise claims that "Ten Stupid Things
Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" motivates her to give up relationships and
do something constructive with her life, but she loses her resolve. DL
claims there's no way Louise read the book. DL tells her to call back after
she's read it.

Sandy. She was diagnosed with severe dyslexia. She can read but she can't
spell. She's told her friends. DL asks why Sandy is making such a big deal
about it. DL asks whether Sandy has ever heard of spell-check. DL suggests
that Sandy write, "Excuse the spelling errors." DL tells her to communicate
the best she can. DL keeps interrupting her. Sandy would like to work at
the post office; DL says how she could do that. Sandy says she could run
machines. She's tired of low wage jobs. Sandy asks about IQ tests, and DL
tells Sandy she called the wrong place for help. DL encourages Sandy to
keep trying. Why don't the literacy places have information?

Greg. He's been dating a woman for eight months. They're talking about
marriage. DL tells him they should date for another year. Her parents are
very attached to her. She's 19, and he's 23. She's left home, and her
parents are concerned about her getting married too soon. DL says she's way
too young to marry. She's just a teenager. [A teenager who could decide to
become an Army guy, but be precisely the right age to do that.] Greg
responds with "Wow" when DL tells him to wait until his girlfriend is 25.
Greg says everybody has a different maturity level; DL laughs and says no,
they don't.

John. He's 34, with four children, married for six years. About three weeks
ago, her mother called and told him that the man who John thought was his
father, and died, was not. John's real father lived in the same town. DL
asks why John thought he missed out on something. John asks if he can hold
his mother responsible for withholding that information. DL says his mother
was the only parent who stayed by him. John says he could have chosen a
different last name. DL says,"That's deep." DL has to explain to John that
she's insulting him. DL tells him not to bitch at the one parent who raised
him.

Diane. She was married for 17 years, divorced for two years, with two
children. She works in the film industry. Now she has to work. She has a
job offer that would take her out of town for three months. Her sister
would stay with her children. They can't be with their father because he's
a pilot and is often out of town. DL says, if the three-month out-of-town
project would happen again, she would not do it.

Michelle. Her husband's company is having a holiday party. Should she just
act polite to a person for whom her husband works? DL says, yes. Michelle
says the person stole from her family. DL says, then her problem is with
her husband.

Lisa. She's involved with a group of leaders of young girls. Some of the
other leaders can be harsh and belittling. DL leaves the choice up to her,
but reminds her that she has many choices. Lisa says she'll probably end up
leaving; she can't change personalities. DL tells her to make a statement
in front of everybody and then get out.

Stephanie. Her husband's stepfather called yesterday. He asked if they
would be able to contribute $100 towards a family ring for his wife, for
their anniversary. Stephanie has a concern, because they don't know if her
father-in-law would use their money for the stated purpose. DL suggests
that they could pay the $100 directly to the jewelry store.

Colleen and Caroline. Caroline is Colleen's 15-yo daughter, an only child.
Caroline has been lying for about 18 months. DL asks Caroline what happened
18 months ago. Caroline says they moved a year ago. She lives with her
mother and her stepfather, who married two years ago. DL remarks that
Caroline left that out; Caroline claims that she forgot to mention it. DL
encourages Caroline to say she's angry at her mother, but Caroline doesn't
get the hint; she's supposed to be angry at her mother for remarrying.
Caroline says her mother changed physically before she got married. DL says
the issue isn't her daughter's lying, it's her daughter's disappointment
with Colleen. DL says her daughter doesn't see Colleen as an authority
figure. Colleen says, as usual, DL hit the nail right on the head.

Sherry. She has so much respect for DL. Her son gets great grades; he gets
teased as "teacher's pet." DL says, tell him to use humor. DL: "The
mediocre are always trying to tear down the superior." [Do the mediocre --
and their apologists -- ever do that by saying the B and C students run the
world?]

Third hour.
Monotonylog. None.

Shelby. She just started listening to the show. In December 2001, she gave
birth to preemie twins; the boy survived, the girl died. Her husband was
not present, because the birth was unexpected. Her husband has missed their
son's birthday, because he travels for work. DL asks if she's married to a
bastard; she says she's not. DL says it's probably never occurred to Shelby
-- because women don't believe that men have feelings -- that he's avoiding
the death of their daughter by not being there for the birthday of their
son. DL says most people who have a kid die get divorced, and it's probably
because the women won't let their husbands mourn in their own way. DL
accuses Shelby of being very mad that her husband is away on business. DL
tells Shelby that the other child is dead, and they should stop having
celebrations about it. DL says her husband doesn't want to be home for his
son's birthday because it's also the anniversary of his daughter's death.
DL accuses Shelby of denying what she's doing.

Sonia. Her 7-yo daughter from a previous marriage has been through a lot.
Sonia remarried shortly after the divorce, and became pregnant shortly
thereafter. That child is now two and Sonia is having another baby. Sonia's
daughter doesn't want to live with Sonia; she's living with Sonia's
parents, who say she's getting better. She's not lashing out as much. DL
approves. DL tells Sonia to get into family counseling.

Brian. He's 22. Nine months ago, he broke up with his girlfriend of nine
months. He didn't think she was good enough for him; he cheated on her; he
just kept her around to use her. Now he realizes that she cared a lot about
him. It bothers him very much. She has had another boyfriend since the
breakup. He can't decide whether he has true feelings for her or it's just
his ego. DL says it sounds like his ego. DL tells him to leave her alone.
Brian says she told him she still has feelings for him but doesn't trust
him. DL criticizes her for calling Brian behind her boyfriend's back; DL
calls it "screwing around." [So DL comes to the conclusion that she isn't
good enough for Brian!] Brian says he can't let it go.

Paula sent this: She and her husband are both in their second marriages.
They've been married for seven years. Paula heard DL read the letter from
"Soon To Be A Cheater." Last year Paula was very unhappy in their marriage.
She stopped correcting and nagging her husband. Her husband agreed that men
just want no nagging, food and sex. [We hear DL snap her fingers.] Paula's
husband got out of bed and bought feminine products for her.

Patty. Her 34-yo daughter was recently murdered in Amman. Her daughter had
two children, ages two and four. How does Patty behave with the children?
DL tells her to tell the children that Mommy's in heaven. Patty asks if she
should keep their mother's memory alive. DL says, yes, but only the good
stuff. DL says she knows that losing a parent to death is better than
losing a parent who had a choice about leaving.

Abby. No, Kathy. She has a 14-yo mentally gifted son. He wants to start
college in the fall. DL says she wouldn't be doing him a favor. She could
get him a tutor. He should start college when he has the maturity.

Stacy. Her parents were divorced when she was three. Her father has
disowned her over and over; she apologizes. She has three children. Her
father wrote a letter telling her that she's a crappy person, she's just
like her mother and he wants nothing to do with her. Stacy wants to know if
she should reconcile with him for her children's sake. DL tells us she's
33; Stacy says she's 43, and DL says, that makes it worse. Stacy says her
mother committed suicide and she has no other person on her side. DL
expresses a deep desire to put her hand over Stacy's mouth. DL says Stacy
has her husband and her children. Stacy doesn't want to cheat her children;
DL asks how it could be cheating them to keep them away from that kind of
person. DL says Stacy is 44.

DL reads this, from Alejandro, to the women of North America. He's 32. He
was born and raised in Latin America. He's surprised how important sex is
in North America. When he was growing up, he never heard of people doing
drugs and getting oral sex. DL asks if she's the only one freaked out about
the soft-porn behavior of Victoria's Secret and Dentyne Ice commercials on
daytime TV. Alejandro says family, not the individual, is the nucleus of
life in Latin America. "Women of North America, wake up."

Alice. She hasn't been getting along too well with her father since her
parents' divorce. Alice lives in the States. Alice doesn't feel like
getting in touch with her father when she will visit her homeland. DL tells
Alice to call him and be pleasant.

Michelle and Mark. They've been married ten years; they're in their
forties; they have three kids. Michelle is a stay-at-home mom. Mark works
full time and then some. Michelle launches into a couple of stories about
how Mark made mistakes as the children's chauffeur. Mark dropped their 9-yo
daughter off at the church, but she never made it inside. DL launches into
a routine in which she feigns panic about the safety of the girl. Of course
no harm came to the girl. DL blames Michelle for not giving Mark more
information.

posted by L. Cathy Bishop at 6:06 PM

--
'Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house - he's lost his entire house -
there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting
on the porch.''

--GeeDubya (Mobile, AL)

I know she has to get mail complaining about her high-jacking this. She
is a civillian and a soldier son won't change that.

SNIP

Shouldn't it be 10 months? Why shouldn't they discuss marriage? 8
months is quite awhile to date without discussing where the
relationship is going.

In her 1950's ideal, 19 was the age to be married. The entire time they
have been dating she has been an adult. DL uses the word teenager for
shock value, to make this guy look like a skeeze.

6 years of light dating, with no sex or shacking up. I'm sure she's
willing to wait. Then she'll call DL and DL and will ask "why have you
been dating for six years without a ring and a date? He doesn't want to
marry you, men who want to marry you propose because they can't live
without you. How many more years do you want to waste on this guy?

>

Unless she was a soldier going to Iraq. Then she's a hero and not just
some feminazi bitch putting her career ahead of her kids. ( the only
income that feeds those kids)

Sensible advice.

SNIP

Humor doesn't work, did DL joke about being a great swimmer as they
threw her in the lake? Did they then decide she was too cool to toss
and ask her to go shopping?

Take that Amy!! How dare you grieve you selfish bitches! I love the way
DL can take a current call and use it to continue berating callers from
days and weeks ago. Way to keep rubbing salt in those wounds Laura.

So its ok for the father to punish the son for the rest of his life
because of an accident of fate that he was part of a set of twins where
on passed on? And Shelby is selfish??

Ew. You could tell DL didn't read the letter because the story was
gross and she paused in the middle of reading it when she realized what
it was saying. The woman and husband realized after sex that she was in
need of feminine products (can't remember exact words but yuck) and he
went and bought them. La di da.
>

Ask any kid whose parent leaves, "do you want daddy/mommy to live in
another house or be dead? Would it be easier on you if mommy/daddy was
dead instead of in another city?" and see what they say. If she thinks
kids don't blame and get angry at parents who die for dying, she needs
to have her MFCC retroactively revoked and be fined and punished. Any
unschooled crappy self-help guru off the street could tell you that.

I would send my kid. It's not good to stifle intelligence. It leads to
boredom and lethargy and frustration on the part of the kid You just
have to work harder to help them lead a normal life. Enroll them in
intramural sports after classes, put them in youth groups and
activities the same way homeschooled kids are. At age 14 he is capable
of attending college and middle school at the same time, half days at
both schools etc. Besides, according to DL he won't be mature enough
for school until he's 25. Because *everyone* matures exactly the same.

SNIP

In Latin America??? Uh, lets see. Major drug trafficking and sex
slavery. When walking through Matamoros on the wrong part of town we
were propositioned for sex and offered drugs by the same 14 year old
girl. Please spare me.

SNIP

Thanks!!

Bridgett

Unless the recent programmes have been repeats, Our Ms. Laura has stopped
with her annoying, "HOOAHS."

Cheers,

Sr. Rojo