Your opinion wanted! Are love and infatuation two seperate things??

Dear alt.lovers,

I have some sort of a question for you.

I am posting this because of recent things happening in my life and I
just want some public opinions about it. So here goes.....

Because of what happened to me the other day I am starting to believe
that (real) love for someone and being in love with someone are two
seperate entities seperated by a *very* thin line.

****this is just for setting the scene******
Lemme give you one of my own examples, happened just
recently.....there's this girl right, I was in love with her big time
6 years back, didn't work out, got into a fight, haven't seen e/o
after that until last year, had a great time ever since, until very
recently, I forgot a appiontment. (okay here comes the tricky bit,
don't start bashing me about the diff. between women and men). yet
another fight/hefty argument + a really good talk where we got to know
e/o, well actually she got to know me since I had most of the word.
*******END this is just for setting the scene END ********

In this talk I said as to why I forgot our appointment.....because I
love her.......it's not that I am in love with her anymore, but lemme
explain.....when you're in love, you have your head & heart with that
person all the time right and you wanna be with him/her all the time
right, well when you *love* someone, you don't always have to think
about that person, in fact it doesn't matter if you don't see e/o for
a period, being a day,week, year...hell 10 years....but when you get
back together you have to best time, you feel so high!!! Well same
here with me and this girl.....i love her but am not *in love* with
her anymore.

So my question to you is:

is my theory in a way socially acceptable...seeing love and being in
love as two different entities?

Beside that: do you think if one thinks alot about who he or she cares
about alot, is being overly rational? I hear it sometimes that I am
too rational and don't follow my feelings.....I see it as acting on
feelings first and sometimes, take a moment rest and learn to
appreciate the things you have been given. And that part I like too
talk about, share with my closest freinds and perhaps the person
involved (now maybe THIS part is wrong, but I like to share my
feelings, ah well)

thanks ppl for replying.....!!

happy lovin'......

Jan - ti...@dds.nl

Basically I think its easier to say to people that being in love with
someone and caring about them are two different things. When I think of
the differences between being "in love" and "loving" someone I am
thinking about the first hormonal stages of love (in love) and truly
being dedicated and considering both sets of feelings (loving).

It's just wording but its easier to absorb someone telling you they care
about you, but are no longer in love with you. When you say I love you
but Im not in love with you anymore it's just plain confusing.

Hilie

I think that you are trying to set boundaires on love. There are so
many colors of love and just like colors, they tend to fade into one
another. For example, infatuation and lust are the things that make us
interested in a person, and from there, we can explore the person to the
point where we may have pure unadulturated love for this person.
I guess in a way, your theory is acceptable, since love is one of the
many things that a person has to look at and interpret for themselves.

Givin' my 2 cents

Liz

jan i think you should keep looking til ou meet your match-i dont think
youve ever been real happy, your okay, you could do better!

truley yours,

jc

In article <374b8f53...@news.xs4all.nl>,

Yes, I can see that.

Alright, you care about her very much, like a dear friend but you don't
love her. This isn't so uncommon.

I think so, there are seven kinds of love that I'm aware of, and this
just isn't true romantic love. You just know it when it hits you.

There is nothing wrong with that, I think many men try to apply too much
logic and rational thought to love (which is an emotion) and they should
know that it doesn't follow those rules. If you can involve your
feelings, learn from them and trust them you are much better off.
>
> thanks ppl for replying.....!!

Hope this helps,

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

True, honestly I've seldom been truely happy, just periods of pure
joy....

Call it insecurity in many ways, have overcome many insecurities as
well, but still.......it lacks confidence.........

I think I could do better if I can show sincere affaction towards to
ones I am in love with and definitly have potential for true love.

I am not the kindda guy that just barges in on a girl, I try to court
her, woo her and try to make her feel special, in a gentlemen kindda
manner, no macho, none of that......

My theory on that is, before I can do such things and make it truely
sincere I have to feel on top of the world, get a tan, work-out, lose
wieght, build muscles, dress sharp in the clothes you like and always
wanted....and as for me so far so good......

Bottom line: if *you* yourself feel good, then the rest will come

greetz,

mike aka jan