Review: 'Ted 2' gives us more (and less) of the same
Seth MacFarlane telegraphs his jokes.
At least he does in "Ted 2," the sequel to his 2012 film about a teddy bear that comes to life — and becomes the foulmouthed best friend of the now-grown kid who wished him alive. At the beginning of the second film, a voice-over tells us that Ted is now getting married (to a woman), and that this means two things: There are happy endings, and "America doesn't give a (expletive) about anything."
Then MacFarlane spends a couple of hours proving it.
A lot of people liked "Ted," in which Mark Wahlberg played John, Ted's friend. (MacFarlane, who directed and co-wrote the film, provides the voice for Ted.)
I was not a fan.
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I didn't hate the film, like I hate "Family Guy," one of MacFarlane's animated TV shows. It was just a one-note joke that wore thin over the course of a film. And now, there's an entire second movie to further water it down.
The film, like most of MacFarlane's work, is a mix of occasional laugh-out-loud moments — there are some here — and cringe-worthy misfires that play a lot more tone-deaf than he seems to intend.
Maybe it's just me, for instance, but this exact moment in history may not be the best time for a movie that argues for the civil rights of a dope-smoking, profane teddy bear come to life.
OK, MacFarlane couldn't have known about the timing when he was making the movie, but honestly, would this ever have been funny? (And please don't tell me I'm a prude. I love raunchy humor — when it's funny.)
But we're getting ahead of things. As the narrator says, Ted marries a woman, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), who we met in the first film. Despite a happy wedding and a Busby Berkeley-like dance number over the opening credits, however, married life is not the dream come true the couple hoped for.
Meanwhile, John has gotten divorced (no Mila Kunis in this film, alas) and is gun-shy about dating. Life is a bit of a mess for John and Ted, until one of Ted's co-workers at the supermarket where he and Tami-Lynn are clerks hits upon an idea: Have a baby and your marriage will be saved.
That this is horrible advice is a given, and maybe part of the joke. Whatever the case, Ted and Tami-Lynn's efforts to procreate result in the discovery of a little-known law in Massachusetts, where the film takes place: Ted is not considered a person, but property.
It says something about MacFarlane's considerable intelligence that the Dred Scott Decision will come up during the movie. It says something about MacFarlane's taste that it will be inappropriate and uncomfortable. It says something about you whether you think it's funny.
John and Ted find a lawyer, Samantha (Amanda Seyfried), who helps them sue the state to declare Ted a person, not property. Much of the film is spent in preparation for the trial, which involves a surprising amount of bong hits for such a landmark case. (And yet John's reaction to Samantha's potent marijuana is actually one of the funnier bits.)
A subplot that brings back Giovanni Ribisi's deranged character from the first movie is a non-starter, which eventually drives far too much of the story.
There are some funny cameos and a couple of smart ones, which I won't spoil (even if the trailers will), and Seyfried proves an incredibly good sport about her character's supposed resemblance to a certain resident of Middle Earth. Dennis Haysbert, playing a doctor, has the funniest line in the movie, but you'll have to listen closely for it. It's a throwaway, totally clean, all the funnier for MacFarlane not overselling it.
That's the thing: MacFarlane preaches to the choir as much as a conservative radio talk-show host. His films and shows are an exercise in giving people exactly what they want. He doesn't offend his audience because it wants to be offended, to see things taken as far as they can go. To his fans, that's enough.
To anyone else, as "Ted 2" illustrates, it isn't.
Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Twitter: twitter.com/goodyk.
'Ted 2'
Director: Seth MacFarlane.
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried.
Rating: R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language and some drug use.