We look back on the best of the worst in our fine industry. The trick is getting it down to 10.
Welcome to IGN's weekly countdown of the exceptional, fascinating, and absurd: something we like to call Top 10 Tuesday. Every week we'll feature the top ten games, characters, fashion statements or whatever else we can think of that in some way relates to gaming and its history. And just because it's called Top 10 Tuesday doesn't mean it's always going to be a list of the best -- we like to razz on stuff as much as praising it. From counting down the best consoles ever to revealing the worst use of fish heads in a videogame, this is where it's at.
Today's Top 10 Tuesday list deals with a true love/hate relationship within the industry. It's no doubt we've all been victim of a few strange quotes while trudging through our interactive adventures. Hell most of time they're downright hilarious, offering some of the best Japanese-to-English mix-ups, out of date slang or just plain ignorant writing. Luckily for us, dumb people are amazingly entertaining. Without further flattering we bring you the best (or should we say worst?) of our great industry.
Oh let's do begin&#Array;
| 10) "Shine Get!" // Super Mario Sunshine | |
| Mario may be a household name since his debut over two decades ago, but the little man isn't without his oddities. For whatever reason, Nintendo decided that the words "Shine Get!" were the best way to describe the plumbers enthusiasm for completing an objective. Hell we're not totally against it, it's just a bit odd. The fact that players get to see it well over a hundred times in a game, however, is part of the nauseating reason Super Mario himself has earned the number 10 position. Congrats Mario, "Teh Suxorz Get!" |
| 9) "A Winner is You!" // Pro Wrestling | |
| Now who says the NES only offered dated graphics? Pro Wrestling will forever prove to fans that HD wasn't the only thing missing in the old-school age. Things like a 1st grade understanding of the English language was also a bit on the primitive side. Me fine with Hulk Hogan because me cave man and me dumb. Me think Pro Wrestling good, need more man-talk for kick-ass fighting game? As number 9, we here at IGN unanimously agree that when it comes to old-school "engrish," a winner is truly you! |
| 8) The DK Rap // Donkey Kong 64, Super Smash Bros Melee | |
| Oh yes. Now we're getting into the good ones. When we think of all-time terrible moments in gaming, the entire majesty that was the DK Rap most certainly comes to mind. How on earth did we go from Donkey Kong Country to this? It's truly amazing. The DK Rap takes the cake for the longest pile of literary crap in the industry. Even if it is only number seven in the list, the DK Rap takes the cake as the only song in history that actually sounds like vomit. Priceless. |
| 7) "You can't give it up! Triumph or die!" // Street Fighter Alpha 3 | |
| Oh it may be the best fighter in history, but it's also hiding some of the downright oddest quotes as well. Street Fighter Alpha 3 demonstrates its total lack of "street cred" before every battle. Paving the way with such classics as "Go for broke," Capcom manages to show it's amazing ability for top notch fighters while simultaneously butchering the English language. While we're at it, is it just us or does Ken scream out "I like that pound cake!" every time he does a hurricane kick? Just wondering&#Array; |
| 6) "I FEEL ASLEEP." // Metal Gear | |
| While it's an epic franchise that's stood the test of time, Metal Gear too started its days as a young jumble of text as well. Along with the awarded "I feel asleep" quote, we also had our hearts stolen with such lines as "The truck have started to move." How the series progressed to its present day glory we'll never know. We personally can't think of a better way to see Solid Snake's debut. As for now, the IGN have started to move onto the next Top 10 candidate. |
| 5) "Yo gangsta! Get ready to gang bang!" // Bust-a-Groove | |
| Wow. So far this is the only videogame quote in history to actually make us blush. In a bold move, the development team over at Enix managed to stick some seriously offensive slang into the mix. The game's seriously amazing, though the lingo used during the warm-ups is enough to make Hot Coffee look like a Billy Graham sermon. As an odd note, two-player modes are included in the mix. Either this audio should be removed, or we'll need at least&#Array;three or four more controllers. Yikes. |
| 4) "You were doomed as soon as you lost the ability to love." // Castlevania: Symphony of the Night | |
| It may be one of the best games of all time, but that doesn't mean it's lacking in the hilarity. While the gameplay in Symphony of the Night is simply amazing, the voice acting is anything but. We could have easily constructed a Top 10 Worst Castlevania Quotes list, but that really would have been too easy. How a game so amazing could include such lines as "Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!" is still a mystery to us. It may rock, but it's also got some seriously embarrassing moments, topping it all off with an ending credits soundtrack of jazz saxophone. Kenny G anyone? |
| 3) "Jill, why don't you, the master of unlocking, take this lock pick." // Resident Evil | |
| As yet another amazing classic with embarrassing audio, Resident Evil nearly takes the cake for legendary VO. The sheer amount of poor voice acting in this one is enough to make us bang our heads against the wall. It's amazing this can be considered one of the scariest games of all time while characters spout out literary classics such as "You were almost a Jill sandwich." It may keep us up at night, it may be the scariest game of all time, but it's also one of the most hilarious. In fact, the recently released DS version even pokes fun at the voice acting, including an all new "master of knifing" mode. Classic. |
| 2) "I am Error." // Zelda II: The Adventures of Link | |
| We're starting to think bad dialogue is a prerequisite to being one of the most successful franchises of all time. So far the list has included Donkey Kong, Resident Evil, Metal Gear, Castlevania, Mario and now Zelda. Bravo guys, bravo! There isn't much we know about the man they call Error. Was that his real name? Was he simply confused? Did the programmers actually include an error signal when a name wasn't included? This guy ranks right up there with Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster. Where did he come from? What is he trying to tell us? We've got a feeling we'll simply never know. No matter; we still raise a glass to our good friend Error. Here's hoping we see you in Twilight Princess&#Array; |
| 1) "All your base are belong to us." // Zero Wing | |
| It's a little known fact that Steven Hawking was actually a successful voice actor back in the day. Aside from being the "word to audio guide" for windows, the most brilliant man alive also took some time from his daily hustle to throw down some seriously wicked licks. In fact, his performance in fan tributes to Zero Wing was so good it actually spawned an eternal legacy on the web. "All Your Base" became a household name&#Array; at least for sweaty nerds that eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch at 7:00pm. Everyone's seen the amazing videos and tributes to this fine retro classic all around the net. It should be noted that this award is shared with the rest of the Zero Wing script. How could we pick favorites when dealing with "Someone set us up the bomb" and "You have no chance to survive make your time." Mr. Hawking&#Array; Zero Wing&#Array; we here at IGN.com salute you. Here's hoping for an Xbox Live Arcade or Virtual Console resurrection. Farewell sweet prince. |