Rating: 
June 27, 2007
NOW that the Cold War is over and hot spots are popping up all over the world, a spy could get burned if he's not on his game every minute. That's the premise behind "Burn Notice," the surprisingly fun new series on USA that stars Jeffrey Donovan as Michael Westen, blacklisted spy extraordinaire.
The show opens with a voiceover from Westen narrating the action as he nearly loses his life in Nigeria when he discovers that he's no longer recognized by his agency.
Amnesia a la Jason Bourne? Nah - burn notice a la the CIA.
Westen escapes and makes his way to Miami somehow. OK - there are holes big enough for Bond to drive his Aston Martin through (I don't acknowledge the BMW), which if you're a purist, might make you nuts, so some serious suspension of disbelief is definitely called for.
Anyway, once in Miami, Westen finds himself in the apartment of his gorgeous ex-girlfriend, Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar), an IRA operative who is still, er, burned that he left her a while back.
She may be burned up, but he is flat-out burned (spy talk for out in the cold). The agency has inexplicably frozen his bank accounts, canceled his credit cards and refuses to answer his calls.
He's been dumped in Miami for two reasons. One is that it is his hometown and the feds can easily keep tabs on his every move, and (2) it's a great location for showing bikini-clad babes with bouncing boobs running along the beach every two seconds.
Violence, babes and a cool guy spy - I'm surprised it's not on Spike.
So what's a gig-less spy to do? He calls on his old agency contact who puts him in touch with Sam (Bruce Campbell), a washed out/washed up military intelligence officer who now lives off rich women and whiskey.
Michael gets a little private eye-type gig from Sam to keep his head above water. He also spends a lot of time avoiding his mother the hypochondriac (Sharon Gless). In between killing people, he drives her to doctors appointments. It's annoying.
The voiceovers by Michael save any of those downtime bits because he gives us lots of tips for spy work - sort of like the Martha Stewart of violence.
For example, did you know that bathrooms are best for beating people to within an inch of their lives because of the hard surfaces? That a good money launderer is the closest one can get to "a Yellow Pages for criminals"? That it's important when breaking and entering to look legit and confused? And that hardware store supplies are better for covert ops than guns?
The show is slick and funny and a lotta fun. It's not often you can hear insults like the one Michael rips off at a too-groomed rich guy: "Does that shirt come in men's?" Love that, too.
"Burn Notice" Tomorrow at 10 p.m. on USA
