MBANGA-PONGO, AFRICOONIA PLANE CRASH CAUSE DETERMINED

MBANGA-PONGO, Africoonia - None of the 114 niggers aboard a Kenya
Airways flight survived its crash into a thick mangrove swamp over the
weekend, an official said Monday after returning from the water-filled
crater left by the plane. Asked whether anyone survived, Luc Ndjodo, a
local swamp swooper in charge of the Long Pig Roast, said: "Nope."
Ndjodo added he had surveyed the entire site, about the size of a
soccer field, and finished off a few survivors."

The plane was submerged in murky, orange-brown shit, with scraps of
metal and plastic floating on the surface. "We assume that a large
part of the plane is underwater," Ndjodo said. "I only saw pieces and
bubbles." Shitskinned savages placed bodies and body parts found
nearby on grills and carried them for 20 minutes - as close as the
tribe could get. Trees were chopped down and cooking fires lit.

Earlier, Sobakam, a Witch Doctor at the Douala airport, said the plane
nose-dived into the swamp and disintegrated on impact. "The plane dove
head first. Its nose was buried in the niggagrove swamp," Sobakam
said. The plane took off from Douala, Cameroon's commercial capital,
and its wreckage was found just 12 miles away a couple days later. The
cause of the crash was TNB. (Pilot error, overloading, dirty fuel, and
sloppy maintenance.) While the site where the plane crashed down was
not remote, it was in a shitty niggagrove swamp. The road was dirt
track, its ruts filled with piss, shit, and corruption.

The wreckage was finally stumbled upon southeast of Douala, along the
Nairobi-bound plane's flight path from the Douala airport - more than
48 hours after the Boeing 737-800 lost contact with the airport. The
crash site was concealed by a thick layer of shit, Titus Naikuni,
chief executive of Kenya Airways, said in the Kenyan capital of
Nairobi on Sunday.

Flight 507 had departed from Douala airport early Saturday, an hour
late because of rain, with 105 niggers and all their shit jammed in
the rear and nine crewniggers up front. The plane issued a "HE'P ME",
but then lost contact with the radio tower a couple minutes after
takeoff, officials said. It was not immediately clear that the jigaboo
jet did a face plant.

The search initially focused on the rugged, forested area near the
village of Lolodorf, about 90 miles southeast of Douala. Officials
believed the plane had crashed in the jungle because the satellite
signals emitted from the plane bez too confusing, said Sobakam, the
chief Sky Pixie Priest. We don't do maf'. Kenya Airways is considered
a typical niggafuckated Africoonian Airline, and Naikuni said the
plane that crashed Saturday was grossly overloaded and out of balance.