'I'm a failure...that's why I sing': Never mind the hits, Adele reveals that she is fuelled by pain and insecurity


She seemed to spring from nowhere to win the inaugural Critics’ Choice Award at the Brits three years ago. But for Adele Adkins, there was no sense of elation.

The teenage singer was overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. And it took a pep talk from one of her heroes to make her look on the bright side.

‘I met Robbie Williams shortly after the awards show and told him how uncomfortable I felt about the prize,’ she says. ‘I was getting criticised for the first time, with people saying I only won because I’d been to the BRIT School. They thought I’d been manufactured.

Traumatic: Adele has admitted her new album was inspired by the break-up with her second serious boyfriend

Traumatic: Adele has admitted her new album was inspired by the break-up with her second serious boyfriend

‘But I’d paid my dues with some tough gigs. And Robbie, who has had his fair share of criticism, was brilliant.

‘He told me the prize was just a leg-up: it had put me in a position where people would listen. That helped.’

Adele’s unease with the garlands of the music business didn’t end there. A year later, in 2009, she went through the same thing at the Grammys in LA.

With her debut album, 19, an international hit, she should have been primed for fame. But her two awards — for best new artist and best female pop performance — caught her off-guard once more.

'The Grammys were like an out-of-body experience,’ she sighs. ‘And I didn’t expect to win anything. I was sitting between Coldplay and U2 at the front. When they called my name out, I was expecting to be asked to move to the back. I wasn’t expecting to be on stage.

At the 2009 Grammys: Adele admitted she did not expect to win anything - but landed two awards

At the 2009 Grammys: Adele admitted she did not expect to win anything - but landed two awards

‘My belt was undone, my shoes were off and I was chewing gum. On my way back down, I nearly walked straight into Chris Martin.’

Such scatty antics might suggest that Adele, now 22, is ill-suited to celebrity. She admits it took time to adjust to the constant travelling (she cancelled a U.S. tour in 2008 ‘to balance my career, boyfriend and family’), but the chainsmoking diva remains one of British music’s more down-to-earth solo artists.

She speaks with a Cockney accent that could have come from Albert Square, and her laugh is the most raucous in pop. She is also supremely talented. A stupendous singer-songwriter with a big voice and an ability to bare her soul in song, she is about to enhance her reputation further with her second album, the confessional 21 (the age of Adele when she wrote most of its tracks).

The majority of the songs were written over a three-month period at the start of 2010. Back home in South London after two years on the road, Adele, who plays guitar and piano, was coming to terms with the end of her second serious relationship.

Her songs began as ‘drunken diary ramblings’, but were soon turned into dramatic, fully fledged pieces of music by producers Rick Rubin (famous for getting the best out of Johnny Cash and the Red Hot Chili Peppers) and Paul Epworth (a British whiz who has worked with Adele’s friend Florence Welch, of Florence And The Machine). 

‘My music is based on personal experience, so I have to live a little before I can write anything,’ admits Adele. ‘It took a break-up to get me going. When I’m happy, I don’t have much to write about.

‘The songs on 19 were about my first, teenage love. He cheated on me, so it was a traumatic record.

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‘This time, nobody did anything wrong. We just fell out of love with one another and I had to deal with the devastation of feeling like a failure because I couldn’t make things work.

‘I felt bitter, and that inspired me. But the album isn’t just me bitching about an ex-boyfriend. I’ve also written songs on which I’m trying to be honest about my own flaws.’

Adele credits her producers for giving her the confidence to tackle her emotions head-on, resulting in a deeper, bluesier feel.

‘Working with Rick Rubin was daunting — he made some of the records that defined my youth, like Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers — but he was lovely.

‘I’m a control freak and I don’t like spontaneity, but he made me go with my instincts and loosen up as I was singing.’

Now she is looking ahead. New single Rolling In The Deep is on course to top the charts this weekend, while she hits the road in April for UK dates.

‘When I do something good, I still feel proud,’ she says. ‘And I’m learning more about my voice. It’s like an old pair of leather shoes: the more you wear them, the better they look.’

21 is out on XL Recordings on Monday


 

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